.country mix #2.

i received a package this week from Miss Kristin; the contents of which included 1 fabulous wine glass, 5 home made country mix CDs, and a "Tasting Wine for Dummies" game.

snail mail is fun, no matter where you are... but to receive a package, full of sO much thought, when you are so far away from home and anywhere you would rather be at times [cough:cough:Aspen! but i'll also take Oaklyn:cough] is simply heart-warming. aside for all of the empty wine bottles strewn about, kristin's care package has helped to make this big, beautiful apartment feel more "at home".

the events of this past year have really helped me to appreciate and realize those who are worth keeping around, those whom are best kept at a distance, and those best left forgotten.

I have had this conversation on more than one occasion with my favorites- relationships [any sort of relationship, not just intimate. get your head out of your ass and stop watching meg ryan movies. there's more to life than commercialized, desensitized "romance". life is not a romantic comedy; more often than not, its a bad joke; with me at the asS-end of it.] are not based on what someone gives you. HOWEVER, when you give, and give, and give and receive not a damn thing in return, its time to take reciprocity into consideration.

you are not being selfish. it is maintenance of self. it is unhealthy to continually deplete yourself, especially if you are ending up empty in the end. i am not at all flexible [maybe on a good day i can touch my toes without feeling the slightest strain in my muscles or lower back], but i have found myself bending over backwards and tying myself in knots for people whom not only cannot even think to do the same, let alone lend me a hand and help me unwind after playing contortionist for their heartache.

there are a lot of people out there that dislike me, a lot of them know me, a lot of them do not...

-hold on one second, i'm having trouble getting up onto my pedestal...-

OK- the only reason i can conclude upon regarding this distaste, is that i highlight their own flaws, inadequacies, and insecurities. and so they try to flip it around, and make me look like the bad guy, and they can do so. i love it. i flaunt it. let them hate. they aren't worthy of my love anyways. SORRY ASS BiTCHES.

and now, back to country mix #2.

Thank you, Kristin! ;o)