is it the weekend yet?

no :o(

there is no right way to eat a banana

... at least not when you are utilizing one hand to do other things.

that sounds inappropriate. i mean trying to catch up on blogs, or write, or hold something. 

simply stated, the banana is toO phallic to be eaten in its intended manner, and no one needs a BJ preview. no one is "too mature" to overlook it, regardless, fellatio comes into mind when people are shoving bananas in their pie holes.

just so you know

if you see "modified" palm oil, palm kernel oil, any modified oil on an ingredient list, it is most likely hydrogenated, or partially hydrogenated.

damn those clever corporations.

Nutella... I miss you dearly. and always will. please tell your creators to change their sheisty ways so we can be together yet again.

hindsight

i'm not quite sure if i have blogged about her before or not, but there was a rather large, useless individual [which one?] at my externship site.  one afternoon, during my final weeks at the facility, fatalie [names have been changed to protect the ignorant] was tasked to make the pizzas for the employee dining area. she needed an instrument to ladle the sauce onto the pre-made crusts and asked me to get her a "spoodle".  i stopped, checked my hard drive for a hot minute, came up with nothing and responded with, "what the fuck is a spoodle?" and she kind of scoffed at me, and explained to me, as if i were a small child, what a fucking spoodle is.

WELL, a couple of days ago, my management professor was talking to us about cost control techniques of different chain restaurants in controlling product usage, and she brought pizza hut up as an example. she informed us that pizza hut had a utensil, exclusive to them, which not only measures out the precise amount of sauce needed, but is shaped to distribute the sauce as quickly and efficiently as possible- this utensil, my friends, is called a spoodle. 

HOW FOOLiSH OF ME NOT TO BE VERSED iN THE FiNE DiNiNG PRACTiCES OF PiZZA HUT. i go to the culinary institute of america. i am from new jersey. i don't fuck with spoodles and i don't fuck with pizza hut. i get my pizza from dirty eyetalians, and my utensil of choice is a wooden spoon. not a fucking spoodle. fat idiot.

bad weather blogging

last week i was sitting in class when i received a text from my number 1 stating, "you're a bad weather blogger."

well... perhaps i am, but to be honest, every day is a g-damn bitchfest with me. i'm surrounded by morons on the regular and i have little to no tolerance for stupid, self-indulgent ignorant people. i haven't goofed around online since i have been back at school. i have no patience and no time for anything i feel as though. i would probably be a lot less cranky if i could get a good fucking meal at this place, instead i am lethargic, light-headed, and cranky for the majority of my day, whereupon i finally get into my apartment between 8 and 9, crack open a bottle, and make something edible. i'm fucking fat, my business casual clothes are toO tight on me, and the only moderately safe bets regarding food on this campus are carbs and lard.  you're not allowed to opt out of the meal plan [which is bullshit anyways. you're eating the food that another student's tuition is paying for as part of their learning experience, and vice versa], so i'm stuck trying not to "waste money" even though the whole damn plan is a waste. i don't want to do any work right now, i just want to sit here and be a brat and wallow in my own crankiness and misery. i also want to walk up to nearly every individual on campus and tell them they are stupid and do not understand the appreciation of good food and they are ruining this fucking school that i am paying out of my ass to attend. 

ugh. "i can't stand it!"