like clockwork.

the day begins, and the day ends. while it feels like forever until i see my love again, time seems to fly just as quickly as it is slowly dragging. i wonder if i would enjoy this purgatory more if i had accomplished my assignments in a responsible, and timely manner, as opposed to having this stress and burden on me? i just want to be there already, while enjoying the inbetween... 36 more night nights and 37 wake ups... so close, yet sO far... sigh.

1.3.2009

i woke up this morning feeling miserable about having to work on a saturday, at 5:30 AM, nonethelesS! but when i got into work, i saw that i am off tomorrow. saweeeeeet. not that i have anything to do...  but its sunday, so i don't need to have anything to do! i've been meaning to photo-document the brand BBQ sauce we carry in the kitchen, because i have the maturity of a pre-pubescent boy, and i figured it would be safe to snag one while snapping pics for my externship, so here y'all go. my picture for the 3rd of january, 2009:

hahaha- HEAD country barbecue sauce. according to dawn, "its really good."

who can object to some goOd head on their meat?

:o)

i have to say, i'm very glad i was able to shake today's insanity. i really thought i was losing my mind at one point. well, not really losing my mind, it was more of a battle of me self-pitying and hating oklahoma and my better judgement telling myself not to be such a butthead because i have no right to be miserable. sure my time and potential is being squandered out here, but at least i'm not paying rent, and, more importantly: i am loved. if i had called my mom up crying, drowning in my own imaginary misery, that crazy lady would be booking a plane ticket in a minute to come out here. as would my dad. and tonight my number 1 would rather stay home and have a gchat date with me than go out... not that i can really blame her. i am rather fabulous. and on new year's jim told brooke that it would be great if they could stay in and ring in the new year twice with me on ichat :o) that made my heart smile real big. i have absolutely wonderful friends and a terrific family; not to mention a fabulous guardian angel, whom i misS dearly and cannot wait for her to come visit me [i believe in spirits. obviously.].

Life is beautiful. Make the most of it.

1.2.2009

i missed out on such a goOd image opportunity yesterday morning, as i had dawn's baby boy on one hip, and i was eating a cold, fried chicken wing with my free hand. sigh. but here is today's photo:

i'm not sure why it is posting so huge, especially when i checked the box that said SMALL, but whatever. i know this picture doesn't look like much, and it isn't much... other than really ODD. these are the steps up to the dumpster in the front of my wonderful, gated community... why is someone's stuff hanging over the railing by the dumpster? and the sneakers and everything looked really clean. this is not a place to be hanging clothing to dry.... the dumpster?! yet, the dumpster is right there- why didn't they just throw it out?! a giant community dumpster really freaks me out as it is... it just seems toO easy to dispose of stuff... unless you're this person, apparently, who is using the dumpster railing as a clothesline? any suggestions? i always immediately think crime scene and dead bodies whenever i take the garbage up here. perhaps i will also snap a picture of the big red paint stain at the foot of the stairs. that is legitimately paint, its been there longer than i've been here. oooooooklahoma. 38 days left. i'm feeling kinda depressed. i think i'm mainly overwhelmed with this externship manual, and it just reminds me that i haven't learned anything, and i'm just kinda being treated like dirt. but i really have no choice but to make the most of it. there is no sense in being miserable if being sad FOR NO REASON isn't going to change anything. i should start meditating or something. i am way toO impatient to survive these next 38 days... which are almost 37. as Jolie would tell me when i was telling her i couldn't wait to get to aspen: 37 night nights, and 38 wake ups until i am out of here.

ohhh yeahhh....

Speaking of new year's resolutions... Brooke and I decided that we were going to take a picture, every day, of 2009, and blog about it. for some reason i did not forget about that "resolution" but seemed to overlook the fact that 2009 had started? i guesS i'll get started on that today. and i will remind my #1 to as well.

typically

it is safe to say that every new year, a sizeable portion of us resolve to work out more and eat healthy. "i'll start in 2009."

well i'm fixin to topsy turvy that muthafucka. today i was a complete glutton. big ol' plate of fothamuckin soul foOd. day one of the new year will be a day of gluttony for me. ring in the new year by absolving temptation. this year will not be a year of restriction, it will be a year of free will power. i'm hitting the gym tomorrow. and the day after, hopefully. i'm going to take it day by day. a year is a big window... as of right now, i'm just trying to make it through the next 39 days... ;o)

the end is in sight

February 9, 2009. the end of my externship. it cannot come soOn enough.

i feel bad expressing how badly i want to go home and for this to be over, because i have made some true friends out here, and without them, my time here would have been completely miserable, but i am so ready to get the F out of here. i feel as though i haven't learned a damn thing [aside for when i worked with michell in baking... which means shit to the CIA because i am a culinary arts student, not baking and pastry]. i have an entire extern manual that needs to be completed, along with this juice bar assignment for the hospital, so i should be grateful for the next 39 days [yes, another countdown], because i have time to complete a shit ton of work, but all i can do is hope that they fly by as fast as possible. 

i want to see stanton, and from aspen, i want to fly into the arms of my brooke and jim, then go home and get my license back and see all of my friends and family. i want to eat pizza. and bagels. i want to go to brioso. I WANT TO SEE NORDSTROM. i don't even want to shop, i just want to see it again. i want to be back amongst the unfriendly faces of new york and new jersey. TAKE ME HOME, FATHER TiME.  lets set the hands on the clock in motion!

38 days as of tomorrow [i know, i'm jumping the gun].... but cross your fingers for me, and hope that time flies by as quickly as it can!!

see y'all real soOn!!!