happy new year...

i'm sippin captain and diet tonight... it tastes like home.

see y'all in february 2009. i cannot wait. i miss you, and love you, and have a happy new year! and a safe one, toO!

because its meant to be

my flight back to oklahoma from aspen was cancelled. :o)

as if work on a sunday isn't absurd enough.

woke up at 4:5fucking5 to get ready for work. i scheduled, and double checked that i was in the computer for my 5:15 am pick up. tell me why it is now 5:29, and i am still in my apartment. i can't freaking handle this. and i have to catch a a flight in the wee hours of the morning, and rely on transportation to come get me. i'm having chest pains. does anyone have a xanax?

Here I am.

i know. i've disappeared. its been a long week. sometimes you need to re-prioritize.

this morning's breakfast consisted of gummi vitamins... once again. i really do love them. and i'm beginning to believe that it is ok to take more than the recommended dosage of vitamin C anyways, as long as you space out your intake throughout the day. your body cannot absorb more than 100% of whatever supplement you are introducing it to [or so i've been told], so the excess gets flushed out anyways, so if you can reintroduce that 100%, or 250%, every couple of hours i don't see the harm in it. i apply this theory to my other gummi vitamins as well, but i don't OD on them as much as i do the vitamin C... simply because i've always been a sucker for orange flavored candy... gummi bears, those sugary orange wedges, sourpatch kids... orange is always my favorite.

anyways- today is saturday, december 20. WoW. 2 days... and barely that, being that i am supposed to be picked up at 3:30 am Monday morning. and i've been informed that i have to look "decent" when i get to the airport on monday... in my head, at this moment, that is translating to homeless chic. or a homelesS person in business casual attire. ugh. business casual. monica told me no sneakers. stanton told me no heels. i need to discuss this with brooke, she is the true travel style guru, but i haven't had a chance to chat with her recently. sorry. life is cRaZy sometimes.

on a side note, or rather, pertaining to why i have been M.I.A, Jolie's family is here in Tulsa, to see her and be with her.  Jolie has already informed them that they are adopting me into their lives... i can dig a few complimentary catering gigs with new friends in the years to come, in celebration of one of the most remarkable individuals to ever walk this world. BUT, back on topic, i'm not trying to venture into anything deep right now- Jennifer, Jolie's daughter-in-law, said that whenever she has been out to the facility to visit, her jeans are always tighter on the way home, AND its not like she's eating full plates of food. just a little nosh here and there. iTS NOT JUST ME! what the heck are they putting in the foOd here?!?! ugh. i need to get back to the east coast and my meathead workouts... latenight diner trips... bourgeois nights in the city... low key nights with fab... MeTRO! at this point, i'm afraid to even eat the salad here! for real! it hasn't helped me much in the past couple of weeks; not that i am aware of, at least. 

ok! i think i've said enough for now... i really need to be tending to my laundry and figuring out what i want to pack for Aspen! i can't wait to see my fractured man... and to turn off my phone and get lost for a few days... :o)

i don't want to go to work!

for no particular reason. i enjoy working with michell, shes always teaching me new thangs and such. i just feel like being a brat. 

school is cancelled for all the lil kids because it iced last night, so i feel as though i should be off toO. :oP

sigh. if only cancer took off for snow days. 

tonight.

its selfish to be sad, but its really hard to be happy when such beauty is about to be leaving the world.  How do you turn around and walk away from a friend, knowing that that may very well be the last time you will see them?

Today i made the promise that i will follow my dream and my vision. i don't break promises.

later in the evening i put water on the stove to brew some echinacia tea. Traditional Medicinals prints different messages on the tabs of their tea bags. i opened two packets, both read:

i can only hope. and do.

make it nice around the tree

i feel like crap. kinda. 

i predict that by the end of tomorrow i will be sounding like joan rivers, which isn't necessarily a terrible thing, because that at least means that whatever has finally managed to beat me in my continious zicam swabbings will be gone by the time i leave for aspen.

i'm out of milk... which means i cannot have my regular breakfast indulgence of honey nut cheerios mixed with kashi honey almond flax crunch in a bowl that is toO small. all my dishes need to go into the dishwasher anyways. i'm out of utensils. everything is dirty. fuck it. i had a handful of gummi vitamins [i don't know why i thought buying delicious gummi vitamins for adults would be a smart idea for an individual like myself], the vitamin C pomegranate citrus wedges, and some lycopene multi-V's thrown in the mix, and a shipyard pumpkinhead ale... its the only possible solution, and substitute, as far as i'm aware. 

my most recent paycheck was asS, or rather, is ass, seeing as how i have yet to deposit it into my account. and i need to go food shopping, but the hospital has yet to reimburse me the $92 from my last food shopping excursion, and i feel as though i am pretty much broke, even for aspen. i plan on going out and exploring while my man is working... which will obviously involve eating and frivolous purchases. 

sigh. i want so badly to be motivated right now. well... perhaps that is a lie. if i wanted to be motivated that badly, i could easily get up and get stuff done. should i have maybe opted for a redbull instead of this beer? i'd probably only be typing faster, but not accomplishing much else. i have a ton of laundry to do as well. so i have nothing to wear, and no utensils to eat off of, until i do something about it. i most likely will not care about this until i run out of clean pajamas, and pajama substitutes. 

ok, enough of this. the only person most likely to have even been the slightest bit interested in reading to this point is brooke. and that is because she loves me.

i wish this bottle was an apricot wheat beer. sigh.